Saturday, September 1, 2012

Missing Home?

I've been at school about a month now since I went back early for job training before the semester started, so I came back home for the weekend to escape/relax/decompress. Last year, I came every month-ish for a weekend so it isn't like this is particularly early (although, for everyone else it's the first real weekend back), but I mysteriously miss AU more in these 24 hours than I ever have before. Even all summer I didn't miss it terribly, occasionally I wanted to talk to one of my friends, so I did, and sometimes I wanted to see them, but I always knew I'd be going back soon and it didn't really bother me. One of my good friends got really attached to school really quickly last year, and I always thought she was kind of crazy (well, admittedly, I still do, but I understand a little more). This is the first time I've ever thought about school and unconsciously used the noun "home" in my mind. Before, I always consciously refused to use the term home for school. Home is Frederick, in the house I grew up in with my parents, where my family gathers for holidays and my friends sleep over. Home is not, can't ever, be anything else. Except that now it seems to be. I have several theories on this. The first is that since it is the first weekend back, it is the first time all of my friends get to hang out, and I am not there. So, one reason is just that I feel left out. The second is that, the way my schedule worked out, I have a five-day weekend. Somehow five days seems a whole hell of a lot longer than two. The third, and probably most realistic, is that now I am attached, not only to friends, who I can still talk to and joke with and hear stories from, but to a significant other, and kisses are something only communicable in person. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling a little lonely in Frederick, although, I'm also not used to weekends where I come home and spend a day home alone since I'm used to getting home Friday evening, not Thursday. 

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