Friday, April 13, 2012

This is Why We Fight: We Fight to End the Silence

It's a very odd thing among allies, we never really feel like we belong. I want to help in this battle against the ridiculous people in the world who think some people are less than human because of who they love. But, who am I to fight this, I have been given all the privilege of being heterosexual in this world. A friend asked today (The Day of Silence) why it is that we (gay or straight) do this. I have heard several reasons throughout the years of my participation in the event: to stand in solidarity with those who must be silent about their sexual orientation, to stand with all of those who have been silent when they have been bullied, but I realized today that, intentional or not, it is designed to make you feel as alone as someone who can't be out might. That's obviously not something we allies can ever understand, but it seems similar. To their credit, my friends do quite a fabulous job of understanding what I'm trying to gesture or mouth to them, but without words, I feel very much alone. Perhaps that is because I rely so much on words to communicate. But even when I can write things for them, I cannot convey tone. The Day of Silence thus seems to be a particularly awkward event for an ally. Tonight, my school is breaking the silence with Pride Prom, but Pride Prom is not a place I feel that I belong, even though I know I would be welcomed equally. It feels so out of place to be that awkward straight girl in the movement for rights she has. It will never inspire me to stop, I still think this is one of the most important issues that will plague our country in our lifetime, but it does mean I am quieter (no pun intended). Less of a warrior, more support staff. And then I feel just as crappy for not being in it with everything that I've got. To be GLBT in our heteronormative, gender binary world is to be very alone, but to be straight in the queer community is very odd indeed. 

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