Thursday, October 4, 2012

I Won't Cross These Streets Until You Hold My Hand

When I was in sixth grade I quit my position as head safety patrol guard at my school. I had been on safety patrol for two years, getting younger students successfully to their parents in the carpool lane outside the building. I was a damn good safety patrol for a 10-year-old and thus, got "promoted" to head safety patrol. Childhood me was incredibly pleased with the recognition for my good performance in that organization and I worked hard at it. I created a schedule, acquired an equipment closet, and got us new "uniforms" (aka: reflective belts). However, people quickly began to not show up when I scheduled the, fail to wear their uniforms, be rude to parents, and a variety of other issues. At that moment, I learned I can never be anyone's boss. I got chastised whenever some other lowly patrol would break the rules, even if I had not done anything, often without me having any knowledge of the incident at all. So, I quit. I didn't want to be in charge of other people, especially people that were being less mature and responsible than I thought I was being. I have successfully avoided management positions since then (except editor of The TJ Chronicle, but then I had a teacher to enforce my rulings). Now, I am in the position, not of being responsible for 24 other individuals, per se, but having 24 other individuals relying on me. I took this position and didn't really expect to get texts at two in the morning about a paper due the next day (largely because I never used my predecessor in the same way). I'm not saying I don't love my job. It is rewarding and I get to go on tons of adventures I never would otherwise (and it pays well), but I do come across moments I did not expect. I don't want to hold their hands any more than I wanted to help patrols guide people across the streets. 

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